Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Catharsis..."What is it?"

     The boiling tea pot , a lifted lid, steam pouring out.  " AH!"  it feels quite relieving doesn't it.  I guess that little action took care of that.  Has it?.  Has it resolved what was in that steam?  That gushing, hot , negativistic anger?  Daniel Goldman says, "The seductive feelings of catharsis the "I feel better now" does not dispel anger or any other negative emotions except to make them quite present and lasting. It may feel satisfying but it is short lived."  Usually, in the past, I would use anyone in close proximity to me to vent or rant upon.  I thought this behavior was acceptable.  I was after all just sharing with you because you care about me.  How unfair is that?  The person we care most about receives these diatribes not understanding why they are feeling attacked; after all, the words are not about them! However, the anger, impatience, and negativity is directly pounded into their ears and heart.
     I would excuse myself by saying, "I'm not talking about you, I'm just "catharting".  Yuck.  How fair is that?  I would have to learn, by people avoiding me for conversation, (pain) to be able to converse, get my feelings out with someone who cares, in a kind, objective, non -attacking manner. Develop a better way to communicate.  Do you have someone in your life who rants at you?  Teach them to communicate to you in a kind and loving way...get out how they are feeling with out making you feel like you are the recipient of their anger.
    
     Remember my continuous adage:  "I can not hurt another person today; I have no right to do so."



    

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